Heartbroken

Last night I lost the most amazing companion I've ever loved. Kaiser didn't eat his dinner (very unusual) and seemed quiet. We rushed him to the vets, expecting a bad diagnosis (gut feeling). We weren't prepared for just how bad it would be. Kaiser had cancer, a huge tumor in his abdomen the size of a football. Being a big, deep chested dog, it was hidden except slight bloating. Internally the damage was catastrophic. His vital organs were crushed and he was starting to bleed internally. He had been his happy, crazy self entirely before skipping his meal. He had biopsies a year ago for possible cancerous growths on his stomach (came back all clear) and we thought we were in the clear. Sometimes dogs are suffering or unwell and show no signs. Kaiser had been on a strong dose of CBD since Akiva passed away and his arthritis was getting bad so he may have been in allot less pain than if he'd not had CBD. We'll never know.

I made the heartbreaking, but right choice to end his suffering. He was in increasing pain despite morphine and my 10year old 'baby boy' was unhappy. I cuddled him as the vet helped him on his way. I will never get over the loss of my boy but I am blessed with 10years of brilliant memories that I am so grateful for. For now I am finding comfort in watching his many, many videos and photos. It's hard to believe he is gone. My daughter is almost 4 and it's her first loss that she can try to understand. She is dealing with it well and the innocence of her many questions is helping me to come to terms with never seeing him again. Libby is sad, she looks for him and has been quieter. We are supporting her the best we can.

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